Thursday, April 23, 2009

One week left in the 2WW

I will say this for our last cycle - it happened during an incredibly busy time at school and I did not have time to think about waiting to test.  Not as busy this time around and time seems to be draggin.  I have a WHOLE WEEK TO GO.  Boo.

Although not really.  If I'm going to start my period, I usually start before the test date.  Even on prometrium I started spotting 2 days before the test date last time.  And if my boobs stop hurting I know its all over but the testing.

You know the shit of the two week wait?  I could load up the weekends with fun activities, in other words, those involving large amounts of wine or Coronas.  But obviously that is not recommended.  So I remain sober and antsy.  Is it wrong that during the 2WW I always tell myself, well if you're not pregnant, at least you can share a bottle of wine or have a coupla beers next week/this weekend/tomorrow? 

I am by no means a big boozer.  Since trying to have a baby for the last THREE YEARS, I don't drink much at all.  But I do like to drink wine with a good dinner or throw back a couple of beers around the fire pit on a nice night - these are things I really enjoy.  And its not that I really care about not being able to drink.  When I was pregnant, I didn't care one little bit.  Its the not being able to drink for two weeks and then discovering that it didn't matter anyway.  Its the making all these sacrifices (big and small) for NOTHING over and over again.

I don't mean to sound negative because I am actually feeling pretty okay.  Some days it just really strikes me how much has changed and how much I/we have given up and how much other parts of your life get put on hold - all for the baby quest.  And some friends who have children and probably lots of infertiles would say - it will all feel worth it someday.  And I used to believe that wholeheartedly.  I mostly still do.  But now when some friend says that to me-first of all, I want to punch them in the face - but then, I think, it will be worth it IF IT WORKS.

I'm glad there is a new Grey's Anatomy on tonight.  I hope its really emotional, so I can sit on my couch and eat ice cream and get weepy.  That's a good Thursday night.


  1. I totally know what you mean. I wouldn't consider myself a big drinker either, but I LOVE a good glass of wine with dinner or a nice beer on a hot evening. And when all your friends are the same, it starts getting noticable when you're abstaining.

    I was curious about the comment you left on my blog, and I didn't see an answer here - why did your doctor have you go straight to injectibles?

    And yes, that was my first mosaic attempt. It took me a long, long time to make it, though. My next projects will hopefully be a bit simpler.

  2. I hear ya' sister. The 2WW is awful and I go through the same thoughts about beer and wine. I don't drink much, one glass or one beer is plenty. Hoping for a BFP for you and a speedy passing of the last of your 2 WW. Mine will begin next week. Ugh.

  3. My doctor had me go straight to injectables because of my age (35), my high FSH (almost 14), and my husband's not great morphology. I remember her saying we shouldn't "waste time" for a half a year with Clomid. But she thought we didn't need to go straight to IVF.

    Even after being on pretty high doses of injectable hormones, here were my results: IUI #1 I had one egg - BFN. IUI #2 I had 3 eggs - BFN. IUI #3 I had 2 or 3 eggs - still waiting for the results of this one. Cross your fingers for me!