First of all, I check my email today and what do I see in my inbox? An email titled "Your Twenty Month Old" from "My Toddler This Week." WTF? After I lost the baby and I received the "Your Baby at 21 weeks" email, I cancelled my Babycenter account, for obvious reasons I think. This was TWO YEARS AGO by the way. Since then I have not received any emails from them. So why the hell did I get this email today? Two years later? I'm confused. And a little bitter. Thanks for the newsletter that reminds me of all the milestones I am missing. I don't need the ABC's of toilet training yet you dumbasses and my baby does not have a favorite sleep position that I can interpret. You suck. There was a link you could click on that said "Wrong age?" and I wanted to click on it and tell them, my baby died you asshole. But I just clicked on unsubscribe.
I still get things in the mail every now and then - Gerber life insurance, coupons for diapers, shit like that. It used to bug me. ALOT. It was like a knife in my heart when I got a box of sample formula or a catalog for baby stuff. We don't get that stuff as much anymore and when we do I just head straight to the garbage can and throw them away. And now I only feel a tiny little prick to my heart.
Okay, on to number two. I'm home tonight getting ready for going back to school tomorrow after spring break (which I am also very bitter about). I have Jon and Kate Plus Eight on the TV (a guilty pleasure of mine) and during the break, there is a commercial for a new show. Its called, get this...."I Didn't Know I was Pregnant." Are you fucking kidding me? Just seeing the commercial with those stupid women in labor and saying "I just couldn't believe it" seriously pissed me off. I mean, how in the hell do you not know you are pregnant until your water breaks? Unbelievable. What ignorant bliss that must be.
At least these things make me bitter and sarcastic instead of weepy. Sometimes its nice to feel pissed instead of sad right? And these two things today did not make me feel sad, they made me want to cut someone.