Having said that....I feel pretty awful today. Very tired, very crampy and even a little nauseous. My NP said that is to be expected considering I am ovulating 3 eggs. And the actual insemination fucking HURT. Which surprised me because last time it was barely uncomfortable. My NP put in the "cold yucky" (as my previous NP called it) and started to crank it open and I was like "WHOAH." She had some trouble getting the catheter in the right place too - she said my cervix has a curve in it (WTF?). When I politely mentioned to my NP how painful that was compared to last time, she said "Well, you have a lot going on down there today." G$ showed me the fingernail marks I left in his hand after it was over. It. really. hurt.
My NP told me we could have sex tonight (I don't see that happening) and then none until we test. She also told me to take it easy for the next week - no jumping or jerky motions - I guess I'll have to cut back on my extensive workout routine (if anyone who knows me was reading this, that would be their cue to laugh). She also said I need to start Prometrium on Friday (also known as "yellow coochie pills" as I so immaturely call them). Yuck. I guess I need to pick up some panty liners. But I will take it easy and not have sex and stick pills up my girlie bits- whatever it takes to increase our chances.
So after she gave me all my directions and wished us luck, I laid there for the prescribed 20 minutes. I made my husband "think good thoughts" for a few minutes before he started playing solitaire on his ipod and held my hand. And I laid there thinking fertile, sperm please swim to my egg thoughts. I also thought - please swim to ONE egg, not three.
So there you have it. All the preconditions are perfect. Now we just need one swimmer to meet up with one egg to get this party started.