Monday, May 4, 2009

So I didn't start my period....

I just read my last post from a week ago.  I was getting really pissed off because I was certain that my period was coming.

It didn't come.  I'm pregnant.

There I said (wrote) it.  I have not said this to anyone except my husband.  I have not talked about it much with even him.  I have tried not to think about it too much.  Because I am not sure how to process this.  I'm not sure how to feel.  There are two things I am sure of - I am pregnant and I am scared shitless.

Don't get me wrong.  I didn't WANT to start my period.  But I was ready for it.  I know how to deal with that.  I've dealt with that quite a bit.  I'm not as familiar with being pregnant.  Yes, I'm happy, but mostly I am scared and cautiously awaiting the next step.  

A small part of me really wants to throw caution to the wind and say "I'M PREGNANT!!!"  And do a couple of cartwheels and high five the husband.  But the bigger part of me knows that we never get to do that again.  Because of the previous two previous pregnancies.

So I'll just be quietly happy and hopeful.  And give him a knowing smile every now and then and try to control my nerves. 

We've gotten over the first big hurdle.  But I have to be ready for the next one.


Wed, 4/29  beta 115
Fri, 5/1        beta 259

I have an appointment on Friday because I am having some pain on my right side every now and then.  Could be the combination of eating twice as much as I usually do and the fact that the digestive system has SLOWED WAY down.  But I think they want to check for ectopic.  

So that's my next hurdle.

And mostly I feel okay.  Being a teacher makes the time go quickly and doesn't allow for much time to think during the day.  And then I get home and fall fast asleep on the couch while I watch the news, wake up, eat, and go back to bed.  I can easily get through a few more days of that.


  1. Sending some quiet hope your way.



  2. have everything crossed here.
    Hope!! It's great!

    xx Ines

  3. Yay! I hope all goes well.

  4. Hi LeahJane,

    Congratulations of your pregnancy. Hope all goes well.

    I'm a physician and former faculty member at Harvard and Stanford Medical Schools. I discovered your blog while looking for the best health writers on the web. I reviewed your posts, and think your writing would be a great addition to the Pregnancy & Fertility Community on Wellsphere, a top 5 health website that has nearly 5 million visitors monthly. If you would like to learn more about how you can join our Health Blogger Network, republish your blog posts and be featured on the Wellsphere platform, just drop me an email at