10 weeks and counting.....

Wow. Its been a LONG time since I posted. I've been busy and tired and sick. And I guess I haven't felt the need. Or maybe I was trying to keep this pregnancy in perspective and avoiding writing or thinking about it too much. Or a combination of all three.

We had another doctor's appointment today (we've basically gone once a week) - our last at the fertility clinic. Our doctor said the baby is measuring perfectly, placenta looks perfect, heartbeat rate is good (hearing the heartbeat is the most wonderful sound). The baby was moving around A LOT. It was so beautiful. The baby looks like a little bear - really big head, stumpy arms and legs. Its so friggin cute.

At one point, she zoomed in on the side view, and I said, "doesn't this (the top of the head) look flat?" I can't believe I actually verbalized this fear, but I couldn't help it. She said that's how its supposed to look at this point. But she also moved the wand around (very weird feeling...and a little scary when you are so gaseous) to try to get a top down view. It took a minute, but she got a good view and showed us the two hemispheres of THE BRAIN. I just wanted to cry. The backstory here is that our first baby was diagnosed with anencephaly and the doctor told us that basically the brain never developed. So seeing a developing brain today was incredibly reassuring. I love her for doing that for us. She has been telling us the whole time that the odds of having another anencephaly baby were incredibly low. My head knows that. My heart is still so afraid.

So what else? I am off the prometrium since Monday and I must say, I feel like my symptoms are lessening. And no more hideous panty liner stuff - YAY!! (I won't go into detail - those who know, know and those who don't, probably don't want to). I still feel nauseous most of the day, but its pretty mild. I still feel tired, but its not the overwhelming exhaustion I was feeling. Man, I was pretty sick there for a few weeks. I felt like total shit. And I am NOT complaining - THANK GOD I feel this way. But it made dealing with school and putting up one last play production very difficult. Now I have felt a little better for last couple of days and tomorrow is the last day of school. THANK GOD.

We filled out the paperwork today for our genetic screening. I think I will get the blood test next week and the NT scan in the next couple of weeks. My first appointment with my OB is next Tuesday.

Things are progressing and I am starting to feel more okay about all this. Of course, whenever I have a positive though like that, it is followed by the little voice saying "that's when something bad will happen." But I accept that I feel both ways. Its just the way it is. And I think, considering all we've been through, its understandable.

But for today, everything is still okay. And I am so thankful for that.